Lets talk about noise.

Are you someone who gets overstimulated, overwhelmed and downright enraged by noise and repetitive movement? No? Only me then?

Well let me shed a little light into the world of someone who is exasperated by noise and repetitive stimuli.

A few years ago I remember seeing some meme going around about how loud chewers can make you want to kill someone. And, in its brutal glory – never a truer word has ever been uttered.

I can’t tell you the venomous thoughts that have gone through my mind when someone chews their food loudly! The crunching, the slapping their lips together causes a visceral reaction that  makes me want to throw something!

Even now as I sit on my couch watching Schitt’s Creek at 10.50 pm, my husband, who likes to eat late, is sitting on the armchair crunching away at his gigantic salad filled with crunchy plantain chips.

Currently there are quite a few thoughts going through my mind:

1) OMG who eats dinner at 11 o clock at night?

2) I wish I weren’t on a diet so that I can jump head first into those mouth wateringly delicious salty goodness chips! (Yeah ok I’m a bit jealous)

3) OMG SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m really not trying to be mean and I know it might seem a little dramatic. It’s nothing personal.

But it’s a real thing!

It’s been a real thing for me my whole life and, I’m not 100% certain but I think it’s either learned or inherited.

I always remember a family member of mine would get a little irritated if the kids (my cousins and I) sniffed too loudly, or breathed too heavily. I distinctly remember thinking that they were a little harsh, but at the same time could totally understand why she would find it aggravating. She was always a little irritated and needed a lot of space and quiet down time. And only now at 39 years of age, I fully understand why, and feel exactly the same!

I discovered a few years ago that there’s an actual word for it!

Misophonia!

Want to know about this delightful condition, check out: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320682#symptoms

And I think you’ll get the picture.

And it doesn’t just stop at noise, any sort of repetitive touch or movement will make me want to crawl out of my skin!

Take my darling son for example, he recently learned how to whistle. Actually I helped him. (Biggest regret of my life) But now, the not-so-melodic sounds coming out of my son’s mouth from morning to night have me seriously questioning my life’s choices!

Of course I jest, but bloody hell if my son whistles one more time I think I’m going to join a monastery! At least there I’d only have to listen to an occasional gong.

But seriously, I have a strong aversion to noise. Especially repetitive noise. I spend most of my time in a heightened state of irritability and unrest. I’m constantly sitting on shpilkes as my lovely Yiddish speaking Grandma would say!

I find it very hard to focus, tune it out, and, to quote an episode of Sex in the City when Charlotte tries to get pregnant, “find my center”. I would never have imagined that I could ever get so worked up by repetitive stimuli, but I do.

I never really understood how NOISY KIDS were before having my own. From the moment they wake up to the time they fall asleep, in my home anyway, it’s constant whistling, talking, screaming, whining, laughing (which I love) and banging!

Not to mention the constant jumping up and down, over me, on me – ON ME!!!! <

By the end of the day I am totally touched out and frankly – bruised!

A 4ft 65lb 6 year old barging into you at the speed of light is the equivalent of participating in a bull fight. All I’d need is one of those red flags and it’d be exactly the same. 

And don’t get me started on the iPad, and the video games, and the YouTube channels.

The constant beeping, screeching and talking in that same YouTube style intonation makes me seethe!

And the mom from Ryan’s Toy Review – her voice is loud, high pitched and like nails on a chalkboard!

Tell me I’m not the only one that thinks this?

I’m sure she’s the loveliest, kindest person on this planet but OMG can’t she lower the pitch a little or, even better, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

OK… Now before the judgement police chime in, yes, I know it isn’t always the best to allow my son to watch his iPad or YouTube, but he does, and it’s a hard habit to break. It’s not all day anyway!

We should encourage him to wear earphones I hear you say? We did that!

And now he sings along, makes really obnoxious noises and screams over them, and does this really weird breathing thing where he holds his breath and then let’s it out.

Come on son, I love you so much but please just breathe normally!

So by 7pm I’m a nervous wreck who just wants to go hide in front of the tv with a glass of wine and a huge bag of those plantain chips!

I’m not sure if this will ever change or if I have some deep seated unresolved issue but what I do know is that people like me need a little downtime in their lives, mamas especially. So if you see someone who might seem a little on edge, have a little compassion, have a little grace and maybe just give them a little space. Maybe it’s just a stressed out mama who needs a little peace and quiet!

What about you? Do you get overwhelmed with noise? What are your coping strategies? I’d love to hear about your own experience.